I don't even really know where to begin.  I feel like the last 3+ weeks are a fog.  My precious mom went to be with Jesus on May 5th at 8:30 a.m.  She had suffered for so long and I am so very thankful she is pain-free and will never suffer again but the void she left in our family is huge.  She was the heart of our family and we all miss her terribly. 

I went to Georgia the first trip on Monday April 23rd. I treasure the time I was able to spend with her in ICU.  The morning my dad, mom, and sisters made the decision to make her a DNR (do not resuscitate) was one of the hardest moments of my life.  She was so sick and the doctor said that if her heart stopped and they performed CPR, it probably wouldn't bring her back and it would be very traumatic also.  We had some very difficult but very sweet conversations with her.  She told us what she wanted at her funeral, things she wanted each of us and the granddaughters to have, and things like that.  We all surrounded her bed, held her hand, rubbed her back, washed her face, and just loved on her.  We talked to her about sweet memories we have of her, told her things we are thankful for, and let her know how much we loved her.  I am so thankful for those days with her.  She was on a lot of pain medicine (she had two compression fractures in her back and her heart was too weak to handle any kind of treatment), so she was asleep a lot of the time but there were times when she was coherent and we had good conversations with her.  One of the saddest days was when she talked about how much she wanted to live until July 14th, which would be my parents' 50th anniversary.  We had planned to have a party for them and she was so looking forward to it.  She also wanted to live to participate in the planning of my nieces' wedding next spring.  She dearly loved any kind of celebration.  She wasn't scared or dreading dying, there was just so much that she still wanted to live for.  She was only 67. 

My dad had been her caregiver for the past 5+ years that her health had been deteriorating. I have never seen anyone so patient, kind, and loving as he was with her.  He took such good care of her and she thanked him for being so good to her.  He is broken-hearted.  There were many precious moments that I will write about over the coming weeks.  There is so much I want to write down so I don't forget. 

Her funeral was a beautiful celebration of her life.  She had a life worth celebrating.  She was a wonderful mother and grandmother.  She loved her family and gave so much to us.  We have reminders of her all around us- blankets she made for our babies, scrapbooks and journals she made for her grandchildren, pajamas and aprons that she made just this past Christmas, even though her hands were gnarled by gout.  Her funeral also celebrated the18 years she worked as the director of a crisis pregnancy center.  There were so many young women who worked with her and who were counseled by her told us how she had been such a blessing to them.

Mom, thank-you for the love you poured out on us.  Thank-you for teaching us to love our families.  Thank-you for loving my children as much as I do.  Thank-you for the sacrifices you made for all of us.  Thank-you for going through dialysis for two years so that our children could have you just a little longer.  Thank-you for the precious memories you made for all of us.  Thank-you for showing us that marriage takes sacrifice and that you have to stick it out through the tough times.  Thank-you for teaching us about Jesus.  Thank-you for all of the precious things you have left behind to help our children remember how much you loved them.  Thank-you for the wonderful, fun mom and grandma you were.  You are dearly loved.  We will never let our little ones forget you.  You are all around us in the memories you left for us.  We will tell our grandchildren about what a wonderful person you were.  They will know all about you.  Thank-you for loving us like you did.  I love you always!

.....that we're having a GIRL!!!!  We are all very excited!  I was secretly hoping for a girl for Lily Kate's sake.  Abigail and Lydia have always been very close and I wanted that for her, too.  Everything looks great with the baby.  It is so miraculous to see that precious little girl in 4D!  I wanted to upload the ultrasound picture but apparently I've reached my monthly photo limit and even though I deleted a couple, it still won't let me upload it.  I will try again.

We also celebrated Gabe's 12th birthday last week!  We decided to surprise him with a trip to the Creation Museum outside of Cincinnati.  We left right after my ultrasound appointment and made the trip up there, spent the night, and then went to the museum on Friday.  We had so much fun!  The kids were able to swim at the hotel the night we stayed there, we drove up to the area in Cincinnati where I lived during my teen years, and then had a fabulous day at the museum. 

Gabe,  I pray you will have a wonderful year being 12!  I am so blessed and thankful to be your mom!  I pray you will draw near to God so He will draw near to you.  I pray that you will grow into the wise, pure, faithful man of God that He created you to be.  I pray you will walk in His ways all the days of your life.  Thank-you for being such an awesome son!  I love you dearly!!!!

Gabe is super laid-back, gentle, caring, and loving.  He loves baseball, hunting, camping, and anything outdoors.  He is a wonderful brother and Lily Kate absolutely adores him!  I am so thankful for him!

Here are some pictures from our trip~

Lily Kate modeling her new tutu bathing suit. She loves it!

The Garden of Eden~

Can you tell that Scott loves having his picture taken? 

The gardens were beautiful and the kids loved the petting zoo~

I have many more pictures I want to post but I guess I'll have to wait a couple of weeks. 

Baby and I are doing really well.  I am getting over the "yucky" feeling but still don't have a ton of energy.  I guess it will be that way until the baby is born!  I absolutely love feeling the baby move.  I have another ultrasound next week and we'll find out if it's a boy or girl so stay tuned and I'll post the baby's sex sometime after the 12th.  My midwife said Scott and all the kids are welcome so it will be really exciting for everyone to find out!  I can't wait!!!

Psalm 139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.